I took my 7-year-old son to an amusement park this past weekend. While in line waiting for a ride, I noticed an overweight woman who was trying to get on the ride with her family. The problem was that the seats were too small for her to be able to safely ride the ride. I caught myself staring at her and I’m sure that there were others in line that had also noticed her wriggling this way and that trying to figure out a way that she could fit. It is very easy to quickly pass judgment on this woman and say that she has a problem controlling what she is eating or that she is simply eating too much and not exercising enough.
In my head, however, I was taken back to about 15 year or so ago when I often found myself unable to fit in seats. The seats on the airplane were always the worst and I found myself hoping that I was going to be seated either next to an empty seat or a very understanding soul who would allow the armrest to be in the upright position to create extra space. Just like the woman I saw at the amusement park over the weekend, I, too, struggled to fit in to the seats on the rides. For me, it had become so problematic that I stopped going to the parks at all because I didn’t want the disappointment followed by the mental anguish that I suffered inside. Was it embarrassment? Was it self-loathing? Was it anger that the parks couldn’t make the ride seats larger despite an ever-widening population visiting? I was angry at myself. I was angry that I somehow allowed my body to become this way. I was embarrassed that I appeared to have such little self-control over what I ate and how I ate. The hate that I felt was directed at the extra weight I carried around. Little did I know that I wasn’t the only component as to why I had put on that much weight.
Over the last several years I have taken the weight off, but it wasn’t solely a physical effort. I had to learn to balance my unique biochemical imbalances, my physical activity levels, my types of food consumption and my mental status. I had to learn how to not only eat foods that I didn’t like at the time, but also deal with the mental anguish against which fat served as a cushion. The physical aspect and the lifestyle change were the easiest components to change. See, my whole life I had been taught that being thin would solve all of my problems. My family told me that I would have friends, a husband, a job, and everything would fall in to place. To this I call bologna! Being thin doesn’t mean that everything will magically fall in to place. Nor does losing the weight automatically change the mental pattern that developed over the years.
This is an ever-progressing process that requires attention from day one through the rest of our lives. Learning to love myself has been the most challenging aspect of obtaining optimal health. It is also the most daunting aspect of beginning a change in lifestyle for my clients as well. We take things slowly and discuss issues that come up along the way. Without self-love we fail to see the benefits of choosing one type of food over another.
Sometimes we have to change the people with whom we choose to spend our time. If you find yourself spending time with those who don’t want you to change – because this often makes those people look at their own inadequacies – or if they are not supportive of you then it is time to look elsewhere for support. Those who have a good support system in place are more likely to succeed in making lifestyle changes. This is not only limited to those who are friends, but it also includes intimate partners as well. Anyone you choose to spend time with should want the best “you” to be present at all times. As you can see, making a choice to reach toward better health isn’t just about choosing carrots instead of chips!
There will be setbacks. Of course there will be! It’s what we do with the setback that is most essential. We can choose to let the setback pull us back to how we used to live or we can get back up, dust ourselves off, and get back to work on obtaining that vision. Speaking of visions, this is one thing that I like to do with my clients who are striving to lose weight. Take a moment and create a picture in your head of what you think optimal health looks like on you. Remember to keep this realistic. The more realistic your vision is the more obtainable it actually is. Also, your vision may change over time and that is completely acceptable as well!
“Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do, even your mistakes. Because even your mistakes mean you’re trying.”
~Unknown
